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How Dare He? Escapades Of The Kenyan Crazy Street Foods.


HOW DARE HE? ESCAPADES OF THE KENYAN CRAZY STREET FOODS. 

So, about today, can we be casual and talk about the streets? Shall we? Yes, we shall. 

Now... straight ahead to a Kibandaski, where I normally converge a meeting of three guys, Me, I, and Myself for lunch. A place where they know me well, in fact, they call me kiongoss or mkuu, and anytime I seat there I'm always like, "kama kawaida...." And something is done without delay.  If you know you know 😄

So, this day, another nigga comes in, and before he even places his seating allowance onto the benches, he goes like, "Anything healthy?" With his hands akimbo. Tall and masculine as he is, with a dark skin like one of a cobra. 

And I'm like 🙄🙄🤷🏿‍♂🤷🏿‍♂🤓 anything healthy?? What do you mean anything healthy? Then a deep voice inside of me begins to shout at him saying "Lost!" "Lost!" "Lost!" I kept peeping at him just to make sure that he is okay and not otherwise. Well, I didn't have a problem with that question Naaah.. far be it from the truth. 

What I had a problem with is, where is that question being paused? Secondly, this nigga is so intoxicated with I don't know what from where that he can't even stand on one feat, full of simiti ya Ndovu on his nostrils, yet he's asking that? 🤕 Oohh boy. 

Okay, the waiter says, "everything is healthy," OfCourse we know that's a lie, when you enter a Kibandaski for those who know hata ya punda inaingia, hata ya fisi naskia ni softer. I remember those days when life was still life for me, I used to spoil myself with lots of junk from the streets. 

I remember this joint in Ruaka, Nairobi where another guy used to make Mtura, oohh mine, I don't know what he used to add into that thing Mehn, that stuff used to slap. I think I should create time and see my doctor, I'm talking about the mtura guy, please don't get it twisted. When you enter a Kibandaski or stand at a mutura baze, achana na uungwana eat anything that is provided🥳🥳🥳😆😆

Long story short, my nigga seats down, he's served, and he washes the dishes white as snow and goes off🤭😁, poor nigga🙄🙄. I wish he had never asked from the beginning.

I think junk street foods are for some reasons underrated. I don't know what happens in other countries but speaking about and for my country Kenya, street food is a banger. Spanning all the way from roasted maize, roasted sweet potatoes and cassava to meaty staff like Nyam'chom are incomparable. The level at which the consumption of this foods has risen over the years especially with the increase of joblessness in the country which has significantly translated to more people fending a leaving out of the hustle. 


More people are also discovering what this street's "cuisines" can do to you. When you just left your house, and it's very cold, you're shivering like a grasshopper on shaky papyrus reeds, all you need is a hot roasted maize salted and slightly peppered. When you leave your workplace tired and with a grumbly stomach all you need may probably be  a hot piece of ''Mutura" garnished with some "kachumbari

The list is long and the varieties are many. You just need to know what your saliva feels like going with, what your taste buds feels like touching on and what your minds sets to or what your mood is like. 

Visit Kenya, visit Nairobi, help me conclude this story. 

Story by Ken Kayange

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